


Be Italian

by RomaNatty



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, Multi, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 06:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomaNatty/pseuds/RomaNatty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seborga is unsure on how to land a date with Wy, so he asks Romano for advice. Meanwhile, Romano himself is wondering how to woo a certain Spanish nation. Maybe there's a way he can do both? Who knows, maybe all he and the other nations around him need to do is be more Italian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Italian

**Author's Note:**

> A Songfic present for spamano-butt-sex (@ tumblr dot com) for the song Be Italian by Fergie
> 
> Written by romanatty (me)  
> Beta'd by super-cholo (@ tumblr dot com)

After every meeting, the nations pick a restaurant in whatever country the meeting is held in and sit there to catch up. Today, the meeting was held in Italy, so Veneziano and Romano recommended an outdoor café.

It was built into a hilltop and gave a great view of the ocean and the rest of the town. Most of it was built out of stone, and had a vast outdoor area with a great amount of tables. Only a few nations went there, while the others stayed in the meeting hall to organize notes or just weren't hungry and went to get a quick cup of coffee.

The tables were set for two at each, basically set up in a small haphazard circle. America sat with England, Veneziano sat with Germany, France sat with Canada, Prussia sat with Spain, and Romano sat alone. Seborga, who wasn't at the meeting but was visiting Veneziano's place, came by the café and sat with his older brother.

Romano wasn't exactly happy with this arrangement. He secretly wanted to sit with Spain. He liked him and had been dropping multiple hints for the past few weeks, but Spain was either really unbelievably clueless or not interested. He wanted to ask today, but Prussia jumped into the chair and they started talking about nothing. Romano just sat glaring at them, hoping Spain would notice him glaring and make Prussia get the hell out of his seat and-

"Bro? Are you listening?" Romano blinked, mind coming back to reality, and looked over at Seborga. He had the same look of innocent curiosity Veneziano often had, but with the Romano pout. Romano shook his head slightly.

"Sorry, Seb. What were you saying?"

"I asked you for advice. I want to ask Wy out, but I'm too scared that she'll reject me. You've flirted with girls before. How would you get someone to go out with you?"

"Are you sure you want my advice?" Romano chuckled bitterly. "Me, who is still single, when our brother has a burly German on his arm?" Romano jabbed a thumb in the direction of Veneziano, holding hands across the table with Germany, who looked a little flustered underneath his stoic exterior.

"I asked him and his only advice was to act scared and hope they find me cute."

"What a dumbass." Romano snorted. Being with a German corrupted him, it seemed.

"So, how about it, Romano? Could you give me some advice?" Seborga pled. Romano frowned thoughtfully, looking around for a moment. Come to think of it, Veneziano didn’t seem to be the only one who had weird romantic views. America and England sounded like they were bickering, again. Canada kept looking at Prussia, then down at his hands. France was looking in the same direction at Spain with bedroom eyes— **back off bitch he's mine**.

Romano looked at Spain as well and could already feel a plan formulating. He looked back at Seborga and sat back. "So you little Italian devil… you want to know about the love?" Seborga nodded enthusiastically. Romano chuckled. "Fratellino, I'll tell you; if you want to make her warm and happy, you rely on what you were born with." He gestured to his body. "Because it is in your blood" He put a hand to his own heart. Seborga nodded, waiting for more.

Romano stood slowly and made a thoughtful face, as if coming up with the right word. "Be… Italian." He nodded to himself. "Be Italian." He strolled away from the table and toward the one beside it, with Spain and Prussia. He crept slowly behind Spain. Prussia noticed, but Spain kept yammering away. "Take a chance and try to steal a fiery kiss." He grabbed Spain's head, tilted it back, and quickly leaned down to kiss him upside down.

He let the pleasantly confused Spaniard go and walked along as if nothing happened, still thinking of some advice and talking to Seborga. He was slowly approaching Veneziano's table, both occupants watching him with interest. "Be Italian… When you hold her, don't just hold her, but hold THIS." He grabbed Veneziano's curl and tugged.

Veneziano yelped and nearly fell out of his chair. Romano couldn't help it—he laughed and helped steady his brother. Germany reached over to help, but Romano grabbed his wrist to stop him. This brought Romano his next piece of advice. "Please be gentle. Sentimental." He let go and went to stand behind his brother. He patted his hair gently as Veneziano started to relax. "Go ahead and try to give his cheek a pat." Germany looked confused, but reached over and put a hand to Veneziano's cheek. Veneziano gave a heart-melting smile, relaxing straight away, and tilted his head cutely into Germany's hand.

Romano nodded in satisfaction and left them in peace. He headed back to Seborga, who was watching intently and taking mental notes. Romano continued his advice. "But be daring and uncaring. When you pinch her, try to pinch her where there's fat!" Seborga nodded and Romano opened his mouth to continue, but something pinched his bottom. He let out a surprised yelp and turned to look at who it was. Spain wasn't looking at him, but Romano could see the tiny smirk at the corner of his mouth.

Romano felt bubbly inside. It was working! Time to see how far this could go. "Be a singer!" He sang, walking toward the other side of the circle to the other two tables. All four nations there were looking at him with interest.

"Be a singer!" Seborga repeated.

"Be a lover!"

"Be a lover" Veneziano repeated.

"Pick the flower now" Romano plucked a small flower from a bush and held it out to America. "Before the chance is passed." America reached for it, but a particularly strong gust of wind blew all the petals off. Romano tossed the stem away coldly and walked away from the dumbstruck nation.

"Be Italian." He continued to the last table. "Live today as if it may become your last." He smacked the table, jolting them from their ogling of Prussia and Spain. Seborga jolted up.

"Anything else I should know? Do you have any more advice?" He asked enthusiastically.

"Y-yeah, do you?" Canada shyly asked. Romano half smiled.

"Well, the best way to get the attention of your partner is looking them in the eyes. They are the only person who exists right now, the only person that has your attention. You have to show them that. Plus, your eyes show your emotions the most out of any other part of your body."

"Are you sure about that, Romano?" France chuckled. Romano ignored him.

"Mmhm! Like this!" Veneziano chirped and turned Germany's head to look at him.

"What? I don't get… it…" Germany's voice faltered as he and Veneziano locked eyes. Finally, he fell completely silent and his whole face was red.

"Exactly like that!" Romano pointed to his brother's demonstration. "Another thing you should do is have a good opening line. Your first impression could be the only impression you have on a person if you're not careful. Compliment them or make them laugh; something along those lines."

"Oh, I got this!" Prussia sprang up and walked to Canada and France's table. He winked to Romano, like ‘watch this little sucker ehehe’ and leaned against the table to look straight into Canada's eyes. "Your eyes… are an ocean." Canada smiled a little and waited for more. Prussia rubbed his head nervously. "Your… breasts… are also an ocean?"

Canada stared at him, then looked down at his chest in confusion. Romano rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, you got it, potato-for-brains." Prussia scowled at him.

"So what else?" England was now interested.

"Don't talk. Let them talk and listen to their words. When there is a nice comfortable silence, you can talk. If it's awkward, ask a question so they talk more and get into that comfortable silence." England turned red and turned to America. They stared at each other for a moment.

"So… how has the McDonalds franchise been going? I haven't been there in so long."

"Oh, it's going great! They introduced the dollar menu and a few more healthy choices like salads with ranch!" America kept babbling about fast food and England just listened, nodding along.

"Exactly like that." Romano told the others.

"What about if I don't know where to go for the date?" Seborga asked.

"For a first date, the safest place would be a familiar setting. Take her to her favorite restaurant, a walk around her city or yours. After that, best thing to do is go dancing."

"Ah, I can help with that!" Spain stood and walked over to Romano. Before he could protest, Spain grabbed him and started spinning him around.

"Hey!"

"Keep it fun at first and dance fast!"

"Getting dizzy!" Romano yelled. Spain stopped, keeping his dance partner close so they were nose to nose and started rocking them back and forth to and invisible beat.

"Then slow down, give them a moment to breath."

"M-mmhm." Romano shakily agreed, then looked away to look at Seborga. "Never let them go. Make sure they remember how your skin feels when the date is done."

"Your skin is very soft, Roma~" Spain playfully rubbed his cheek against Romano's, laughing gently. He shoved Spain away, but let out a small laugh as well.

"Shut up, you dork." He looked around, serious once again. All eyes on him. "If you forget everything I have told you, just don't forget the most important advice."

"It was all wonderful advice. Which one was the most important?" France asked, raising an eyebrow. Romano smirked a little and cleared his throat.

"Be… a… singer!"

"Be a singer!" Veneziano, Canada, and America caught on.

"Be a lover!"

"Be a lover~!" Now Prussia, France and Spain were on board.

"Pick the flower now before the chance is passed!" Romano pointed when America handed England a flower, making him smile and blush. "Be Italian! Live today as if it may become your l—" As he was about to finish, Spain grabbed him again and started spinning him around,  leading him into a salsa, then a tango. When he dipped him, Romano huffed out it out. "—ast!"

_**~*~*~** _

A few weeks later, Romano was rushing out to the living room to grab his cell phone, which was ringing on the coffee table where he last left it. He recognized his brother's name on the caller ID and answered it. "Pronto."

_"Hey Romano, it's Seborga! Guess what! I just had my first date with Wy! She kissed me right on the cheek!"_

"Heh, nice job. You're on your way to being a Casanova just like your fratelli" Romano joked.

_"It's all thanks to you. Your advice got me a date and now it got me a kiss! Thank you, Romano."_

"Yeah, anytime."

_"So, wanna hear the details~?"_

"Oh, Seb, I can't talk now, actually. I'm kinda in the middle of a date right now."

_"Oh, sorry. How's it going? Gonna score a kiss?"_

"Heh, if I'm lucky enough, maybe I'll get more than a kiss." Romano smiled wistfully. "We'll talk sometime tomorrow."

_"Alright, bro! Text me when you're free and we can have lunch with Veneziano. Ciao!"_

Seborga disconnected and Romano closed his phone with a soft smile. He'd like to say that was his first call about the advice he gave, but he’d been getting them all week. America and England quit counseling because they were doing so well, Prussia called to let him know that he had asked Canada out dancing. Even Germany asked if it was okay to marry Veneziano (Romano said to go suck a dick, but he didn't exactly say no either.)

Just yesterday, he got the call that had the biggest impact on him. He had yet to discover the outcome of it, though.

"Roma, the pasta is getting cold!"

"Hold your horses, Spain, I'm coming!" Romano called out, putting his cellphone aside and running back into the dining room to find out.

 


End file.
